So I was visiting my friend Dan in Chicago not too long ago and we were walking down the street on a windy Tuesday evening. This awesome limo pulls up next to us and the window rolls down. This super-hot-but-kinda-scary chick sticks her head out the window and asks if we know where some club is. I hadn't heard of that club, but I knew where the YWCA was, so I told her that. It was the only club I knew of besides the Boys and Girls club and she looked too old for that. She got mad and was like, "Don't you know who I am?" I was like, "Um, no..." and Dan was like, "Oh wow! Mariah Carey! I loved your Butterfly song, it was so inspiring!" Then I hit Dan in the arm for being a girl. But it wasn't Mariah. "Christina Aguilera?" "No! I'm Shakira, you retards!" "Who's Shakira?" Then the limo drove off. She didn't even go in the right direction for the YWCA.

My band "Chad The Band" just released our first single called Hamsta Gangsta. Download Hamsta Gangsta and spread the word. Rock and roll or something!

Hey, I told you before about my electric harp skills right? I'm totally trying to hone them for my new band. Me and my friend Lee are trying to make it big in the music biz, but it's pretty tough so far. I want to do some stuff that's like a cross between country and native African music. Lee wants to do rap-core and he's the lead singer so I let him think he can make the decisions, but I'm the musical genius. He wants to call the band Vanilla Rice, but I told him that was stupid. It's really hard to write rad songs. All the sweet tunes are taken. I think the 80s were the peak of musical awesomeness because they had really good hair back then and they could play the C chord like nobody's business. I think I want to call the band "Chad The Band" after that country in Africa 'cause I like that African music, mixed with country.

Well folks, I'm sorry to say that this will be my last entry. FriendForADollar.com is shutting down. SIKE! Ya right, how could anyone ever believe that the raddest website in the history of rad websites could be shut down. I'm totally going to keep on my quest for friends. The friends I have so far are the most awesome friends who send me some sweet pictures that I'll be sharing with you later. Those of you who are my friends can expect your email soon!

I'm totally going to start a band. I will learn an instrument and it will be sweet. I was thinking about the electric harp because it has more strings than a guitar. This one time I saw Sting on an interview and he said he learned the bass because it had less strings than the guitar. My friend Frank said that harps are for girls, but I think that's because he secretly wants to be a girl. Frank said I should learn air guitar and that he could give me lessons for $10, so I'll need 10 more friends, otherwise I'll totally do the electric harp thing because that would be majorly rad.

This one guy I know, Jon, has this picture blog called smurfbite.com where he draws stuff that is totally sweet. There are some wicked funny drawings there. Funnier than that one joke I always tell about the blonde and Santa Claus. One of his drawings made me laugh so hard, milk started coming out of my nose. The weird part was that I hadn't had any milk since yesterday. It was totally bogus, unlike this concert I went to last week where these guys played guitars and panflutes and stuff. My friend Tyler tried to mosh to their music 'cause it was so sweet, but this stupid hippie chick kept telling him that his aura was red and it totally weirded him out.

So, here's how the free shirt thing is going to work. For every 50 friends that sign up, I'll do a drawing. Not the pen and paper kind of drawing, but the raffle kind of drawing. Whoever wins gets to choose their free shirt from the store. How sweet is that? You have a 1 in 50 chance of winning a free shirt, on top of all the other intensely awesome benefits of being my friend!

I just got back from vacation. It was probably the awesomest vacation I've had all year. I was on an island in Rhode Island. But the name of that island was not Rhode. It was Block. I don't get it either. We took a ferry to get there. I saw a fairy on the ferry and it was very scary. I went body surfing at the beach. This one gi-hugic wave came and totally jacked me up. My face went into the sand and my feet hit me in the head. It was worse than the time my friend Buford ran over my foot with his Army truck. Buford's got the sweetest truck ever created by human hands. Maybe even by alien hands, too. It's totally camo, so you can't see it, except sometimes when the light hits it just right. He says he's got a shotgun mounted in the tailgate so that if someone goes road-ragin on him he can shoot their tires out.

So some other stuff happened while I was camping that I haven't told you about yet. I pitched my sweet Big K tent over this ant hill. Those stupid things got really mad. I think they were leaf cutter ants, 'cause they cut a hole in the bottom of my tent. Then they made off with my rad new LED flashlight while I was catching some Zs. It had this awesome distress signal mode. Stupid ants. Or it was my friend Jeff. He's always taking stuff like my polished quartz from my rock collection. Stupid Jeff. That quartz rocked.

Last weekend I went camping with my friends. It was so sweet. We camped near the ocean, so me and some friends were messing around on the beach in the surf. Joey tried to body surf to impress some chick, but I think the chick was blind, so she didn't see him. She had a white cane and stuff. I tried to body surf too, but I got pummelled by this one wave. When I surfaced, I couldn't find my left shoe, and I think I ate a sea horse. I had Sea Monkeys when I was a kid. They were sweet, like Chia Pets. I wish they had a Chia Pet that looked like a sea horse. That would be sweet.

This is my first entry in my new blog. I call my blog The Irv Factor because it sounds sweet, especially when you do it in a radio announcer voice.

I went to the fair tonight with some of my sweet friends. We hung out in the poultry barn for like an hour. This one stupid chicken kept smiling at me. The food at the fair is pretty rad. They fry anything. My friend Steve wanted this one guy to fry his hat, but the guy told Steve he was stupid. I rode the Zipper -- the sweetest ride at the whole fair. My friend Phil took a handful of bolts on the ride, then he let them go when the ride was spinning around. Bolts were flying everywhere and the carnie freaked out 'cause he thought his ride was broken. It was awesome.